I received a text this morning from my daughter. It said simply, "I've decided... I'm never going to drink alcohol.. Not even just ONE."
My daughter - she's 13. She's a joyful, happy, witty, smart, strong beautiful girl. At times, she's years ahead of her age. Sometimes she acts exactly 13. :)
But when I received this text, my mind quickly fast forwarded to her at 16, 17 and 18 and she's driving and out with friends, and I suddenly felt RELIEF at not having to worry about her drinking with friends and driving, I imagine her (with her angel wings and halo - because she's so innocent, not dead) smiling and content, and all the while driving her drinking and partying friends around the streets of Hutch.
Again, I know she is only 13 and things change, but I also wonder if she will turn into those kids I went to college with who had never "partied", and when she gets out on her own and it's "Girls Gone Wild", because they had never gotten a taste of ornery before.
When I asked her what made her make this decision, her answer?
"My friend can't drink because of her diabetes, and I think its not a bad idea, plus I want to support her"
Either way, if she changes her mind or not. Her heart is in the right place and that makes this mom smile.
She knows she's not perfect, so do I. I remind her often that perfect is boring.
Don't you love when your kids do something like that? The most special relationship ever is the one between mothers and daughters, I should know I have three:)If she's talking to you at 13, you've really done something right, I wish you luck through the difficult days (unfortunately even the best girls/moms have them). When you start out right, like you obviously have, it doesn't last too long and you both come out better in the end.
ReplyDeleteI think the ones who go bananas were overly restricted by others, so when they're able to do what they want, they kind of lose it. The ones who have enough freedom to explore/consider options themselves tend to be more level-headed when opportunities arise.
ReplyDeleteEven if things change, the key thing is that she's thinking for herself and considering all angles, at an age when there's still time to do that. Good for her!
DottyB - Thanks for the words of wisdom - I'm glad to be reminded that there will be crazy times ahead.. I remember me in my teen years. Thanks for the wisdom.
ReplyDeleteSheila - I really agree with you on that idea. It does seem the ones that went over the edge in college may have been somewhat sheltered. Great point.
I was one of those that went over the edge. Thank God I got a great upraising and survived. It's all balance - you can't stay on the edge for long. Great job with your kids Tamara - I follow Cody on twitter and am just crazy about your son. I love that both of them travel to their own beat. Good parenting. and btw - great first post!
ReplyDeleteSo true about balance, Deb. Everyone kind of deserves the opportunity to stand really, really, really close to the edge - just so they know what it felt like. :) I am pretty blessed with both my kids. My daughter and son are both so very different, it's a joy to be around them and see each of their strengths. Thanks for reading my first post!
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ReplyDeleteMy son said the same thing at about the age of 9 after seeing his dad a bit drunk and then witnessing the hangover the next day. I am happy to say after his first year of college it still rings true. I know the pressure of drinking in college and I was concerned and my hubs told him that if he did it be careful and remember if you get caught you will feel the pain. I wanted to say, DON"T DO IT EVER. But that is not the right approach, my hubs was more realistic. Luckily for us, he has the added weight of ROTC and having a lot to lose if he gets in trouble for being a Minor in Consumption. Good for your daughter, for seeing early and realizing maybe this just isn't something for her.
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